August 19, 2012

4 Weeks Down!

I've been here a month, and hopefully I have one month left to go.

Nothing has happened or changed health wise for myself or the baby.  She's measuring normal, and the bloodflow in the placenta and umbilical chord are all still in the normal range, which is great.  My accreta hasn't advanced much further that we can tell, which is also a good thing.

I had a PICC line put in almost 3 weeks ago, but quickly found out that I'm allergic to the bandage they use over the top of the line to keep it sterile.  They kept trying to change the bandage to something that wouldn't irritate my skin, but on Thursday they had to pull out the PICC because the reaction was too bad.  So now I have a lovely rash all over my arm that won't seem to go away, and it's really good at itching badly in the middle of the night while I'm trying to sleep.  We're doing some tests with other adhesives and tapes so we can figure out exactly which ones I'm allergic too before we go into surgery and there's tape all over the place.  We're testing the tapes on my legs, so now I have hives all over there too.  Who knew I was allergic to this stuff?

I'm hoping after this I never have to have another IV, another hospital stay, another hospital bed to sleep in.

It will be over soon!

I'm really looking forward to Christmas.  I figure that around then is when we'll start getting back to a little bit of our normal life.  It will probably be a bit of a simple holiday for us, but I'm looking forward to that as a light at the end of the tunnel.  I know that things between now and then are very up in the air, and there are so many factors that will affect it, but hopefully by then things will work themselves out, and we can start going out, going back to church, and seeing people without being terrified of germs and such.  We'll probably stay quarantined most of the winter, but hopefully we can get out a little around then.

I've been doing a few things to keep myself occupied in this last month.  I've watched all 4 seasons of Larkrise to Candleford, crocheted a few edgings and a doily, finished an afghan I was making for Maggie, and now I'm working on a baby blanket.  I'll try to get a picture of it soon, because I'm so completely happy with it.  It's a small ripple that I'm making with cream and taupe sock weight yarn.  It's very delicate and soft, and has such a lovely drape to it.  I can't wait to wrap it around our little girl.

I'd be lying if I said that this wasn't hard, that everything was OK, or that time was flying by.  Every day is an eternity and my heart breaks every time Ollie has to leave and I can't go home with him.  This week is the county fair, and I'm so sad I can't go with Ollie and my dad.  My mom and I had plans to can jam, salsa, peach butter, and other things, and we can't.  I miss my bed and my home, my privacy, my dog, my food.

But it will be worth it.  I see how much I love Ollie, and what a place he has built in our hearts, and I think of having another person to love like that, and I know it will be worth it.  Sometimes I have to say it outloud, or write it down to convince myself, because the little things can seem so big, and this room can seem so confining. But hopefully now we're on the down hill side of this.  Soon we'll be holding our sweet girl in our arms, bringing her home, and things will get back to a wonderful new normal.

2 comments:

Vallen Family said...

I can't wait to see pictures of your cute little girl and hearing about all of the sleep you are/aren't getting because she is a good eater and how Ollie is just the best big brother!
Hang in there Amanda.

Emily@Little Forever Family said...

I am not even sure why this is making me cry, but it is. I stayed at Heather's for a few days while Mike was out of town, and we were talking about how strong you are to be going through this. We pray for this little gal, and for you, Justin, and Ollie. I know for a fact that in a year, when you are celebrating this sweet little gal's birthday, that this will be but a moment. When I think back to what I went through with Jacob, and it has now been nearly two years, it just seems surreal. Praying that Christmas comes with you all happy and healthy!!!