I need to relax.

I feel like I've been wound kind of tight lately.

I started writing a post about OCD tendencies, anxiety, and obsessing over To Do lists, and then I freaked myself out a little, so I decided not to scare you away with all of that.

But I need something that I can do to relax that doesn't make a mess that I can do when a baby is screaming and crawling all over me and won't nap at all. So basically that doesn't involve using my hands or brain in any way.

Yep, I didn't think that exsisted either.

Remind me to never ever ever have another kid at a time when we don't live close to at least SOME family. Having no help and no breaks and no babysitters or date nights EVER gets a little taxing after a while and I think my brain is starting to seize up.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I am so in love with my boy. And I never ever ever for one milisecond regret having him or think the timing was wrong. It was perfect. But everyone needs a little break once in a while, and we didn't think we'd still be living in this terrible, dreary, cold, awful place.

Ollie finally slept through the night for REAL for the first time last night. I would think that I would feel great, but actually, no. I think I have 6 1/2 months of lost sleep to catch up on. Anaesthesia is starting to sound heavenly.

And this is where I stop. Are you glad I only subjected you to the Readers Digest version of my mental problems today? I thought so.