January 19, 2011

I need to relax.

I feel like I've been wound kind of tight lately.

I started writing a post about OCD tendencies, anxiety, and obsessing over To Do lists, and then I freaked myself out a little, so I decided not to scare you away with all of that.

But I need something that I can do to relax that doesn't make a mess that I can do when a baby is screaming and crawling all over me and won't nap at all. So basically that doesn't involve using my hands or brain in any way.

Yep, I didn't think that exsisted either.

Remind me to never ever ever have another kid at a time when we don't live close to at least SOME family. Having no help and no breaks and no babysitters or date nights EVER gets a little taxing after a while and I think my brain is starting to seize up.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I am so in love with my boy. And I never ever ever for one milisecond regret having him or think the timing was wrong. It was perfect. But everyone needs a little break once in a while, and we didn't think we'd still be living in this terrible, dreary, cold, awful place.

Ollie finally slept through the night for REAL for the first time last night. I would think that I would feel great, but actually, no. I think I have 6 1/2 months of lost sleep to catch up on. Anaesthesia is starting to sound heavenly.

And this is where I stop. Are you glad I only subjected you to the Readers Digest version of my mental problems today? I thought so.


aandkhousewright said...

i wish i was there to take that baby for a while! i totally feel ya! hang in there, manda!

mom said...

Mothers everywhere know just how you feel. There is nothing that brings us more joy, but that doesn't mean we don't need short breaks often. Soon sweetheart.....hang in there....you are an amazing and very patient mom.

Rachel said...

We can watch him for you if you want go on a date! And I'm not just saying that. I totally know how it feels when you haven't been able to be just two people for a little bit, but I have been lucky having siblings here to watch the kiddies.

Coty said...

Awesome. Way to go, Justin!
Jared bought me the iPad for Christmas... I love the thing! It's freezing here too, what to do while the babies are occupied... Laundry? Yeah right!