May 17, 2011

I've been having a hard time finding the motivation to do anything but the bare minimum lately. Bare minimum being defined as (in no particular order):

Keep house reasonably neat and tidy
Get dressed
Feed Ollie and I, make dinner
Spend time with Ollie

I think of Ollie as a high maintenance child. I hope hope hope that my next child doesn't prove me wrong by being even more demanding than Ollie is. It isn't that he's a bad baby-- inversely, he's really a happy kid. He's just BUSY. He's always moving, always getting into things, and never ever napping or resting. We don't have him watch movies yet, but even if we did, I can't fathom him sitting still anywhere for more than 3 or 4 minutes, unless he was asleep. He's adorable, giggly, a good eater, and SO much fun. But he is exhausting!

Sometimes I find myself trying to tune him out just a little. For example, I'll take him up to my room, shut all the doors, take everything off the floor, spread his toys all over the place, and just curl up in my rocking chair for a little bit, watching The View, or Ellen, or something.

Lately I've been thinking about how fast the last year has gone, and how it just seems to be getting faster all the time. This Thursday is Justin and my 5th wedding anniversary. How have we been married for 5 years already? Time flies. And I'm not just saying that. It has gone so quickly. It kind of scares me! It makes me worry that I'm not doing enough with Ollie. I know I'm just paranoid (for lack of a better word), but I've dreamt about being a mother my entire life, and now I am. Why am I wasting it watching mindless TV?

Now don't get me wrong-- I don't watch a ton of TV. But still.

So I've been trying to spend more time just sitting and playing with Ollie. I know I probably won't have as much one on one time with any of my other children, but that doesn't mean that now, while I do have the time, I shouldn't spend it with Ollie.

So today we are having pancakes for dinner. Yesterday Ollie never mad eit out of his pajamas. I haven't put on make up in days. But it's great. I love Ollie, and I love watching him grow and learn.

Last night Ollie stood alone for the first time. It was funny, because he just let go in a fit of excitement, and upon realization that he was no longer braced against something his eyes got huge, and he buckled to the floor. It has seemed for a while that he has the ability to stand alone, but is just afraid to let go. I think this confirmed that hunch. We'll see how long it takes him to figure out that he's stronger than he thinks he is.

He's also been giving kisses for a while, but he hands them out VERY reluctantly. I only would get one or two a week. But in the last few days, he's been giving me kisses a lot more. He only does it when he's in a particular mood, but it is the sweetest thing ever. I'm sure all moms feel the same, but when he leans towards me, eyes and mouth wide open, banana smushed all over his face, and plants one right smack on the lips, my heart melts. It makes any amount of exhaustion or frustration worth it.

He's figured out how to smell things too, and he will lean in a smell my neck if I've put on perfume, or my lotioned hands, or his food. It's adorable.


In other news, I've been doing a little bit of experimenting in the kitchen lately. I bought 50lbs. of Organic Millet for my food storage, and have been learning to use that. I LOVE it just cooked plain with butter and S&P, but it would be nice to find some other recipes that use it. The awesome thing about Millet is, firstly, it's gluten free and very high in protein, magnesuim, phosphorus, and niacin. Also, if you want it to have a rice like consistency, you cook it in a 3:1 ratio (3 parts water to 1 part millet). That means that it goes a lot (1/3) farther than rice does, because you cook rice 2:1. But you can cook it in really any ratio you want. It has a couscous-like consistency in a 2:1, and you can keep adding water to make it go further (it just eventually turns into a mush). Additionally, you can add it to soups and stews that you're cooking for a long time as a thickener. I haven't actually done this, but I've heard that you can just add a little and it will thicken your stew, and add nutrients at the same time.

In case you don't know what millet is, it's the same stuff that is in birdseed-- the little white balls. Only when you buy it to eat, it's been hulled, and as birdseed it still has the hull on. It really is delicious, and has a nuttier flavor than rice I think. If you like brown rice, I don't think it's much of a stretch taste wise. And the consistency is kinda fun.

Also, I made yogurt!! It was really easy, and turned out to be delicious. I could eat A LOT of yogurt, and I prefer mine to be more tart and a natural consistency, so instead of spending 4-5 dollars per quart of Brown Cow or whatever other brand, I can make it for 3 dollars a GALLON! And it stays good for a pretty long time. I can flavor it with honey, maple syrup, jam, vanilla, or whatever else I want, and I can make it with whole milk for Ollie, because whole milk yogurt is hard to find, and pretty expensive.

There really wasn't anything especially hard or tricky, and no special equipment. I just googled "making yogurt at home" and came up with a plethora of tutorials. The next thing I'm thinking about it Kefir, but I haven't really delved into that world yet. I'll probably make yogurt a few more times before I start that.

I think I need to start making my green smoothies again...


We are still waiting on news about the job. We are praying, fasting, and praying some more that it will come through soon. We need it to. If you have an extra opening in your prayers, please include us and this job in them.

To keep myself sane, I've been dreaming about houses. Have you seen Don't go there, because you will spend way too much of your time looking through floor plans and day dreaming about building a house. Or maybe that's just me.

It doesn't help that I also found two 20 acre lots for sale on RedFin this morning, right in Bakerton, which is about 10 minutes from my parents house. Perfect location. For a good price. And how awesome would 20 acres be? Hmmmm.....


ma said...

You are a beautiful multi talented wonderful, natural mom. Give yourself a few pats on the back! You are raising a wonderful son! I love you!

Rachel said...

I love the honesty and thoughtfulness about motherhood! You're awesome Amanda, and Ollie is so cute! From what you say, he seems like a pretty busy boy.